Why Some Kids Never Leave the Nest

According to a survey by the Pew Research Center, more than half (57%) of Americans between the ages of 18 and 24 were living with their parents as of January 2024, over double the record low of 26% that was recorded in the 1960s.

There are many reasons why some adult children may not leave their family home or return to live for a period of time. The main reason, though, is financial.

Although every family dynamic is different, there are specific steps that parents can take to reduce the potential for adverse effects on their kids and themselves.

Key Takeaways

• According to the Pew Research Center, slightly over half of 18-to-24-year-olds live at home with their families.
• Adult children come home for various reasons, but finances most often play a role in their decision. 
• The high cost of college may keep some young adults living at home instead of on-campus.
• Parents may need to set boundaries and rules for their adult children living at home. 

Why Adult Children Return (or Remain) Home

Growing up is not only challenging—it’s also increasingly expensive. The rising cost of higher education has amplified financial stress for young people.

Four years of college may mean starting young adulthood with hefty student loans. Add in the cost of a vehicle, food, clothing, shelter, and a social life, and suddenly a young adult may find themselves digging out of personal debt. When things get hard, it may be tempting to return home—and remain there.

What’s a Parent to Do?

Clearly, moving back home (or never moving out) has enormous and immediate advantages for the kids, but, depending on the parents, it might not be such a great deal.

Some parents may be too kind to kick out their still-dependent kids, so instead of using their prime earning years to save and invest for retirement, the parents are pouring their money into adult children who can’t or won’t strike out on their own. And in addition to jeopardizing the parents’ retirement, the child isn’t learning about the responsibilities that come with being an adult.

Important

Most young adults remain at home or move back home due to financial stress and debt.

Contributing Financially

If your adult kids want to come back home, or they won’t leave, you may need to set some boundaries and ground rules. Maintaining a household is expensive. You could decide that everyone living under your roof needs to carry their weight by paying their fair share of the expenses. This includes paying rent, paying utility bills, and paying for food.

You might also say that your adult children also need to pay their own bills. This includes car payments, insurance, gas, credit cards, and cell phones. This is because they need to learn that if they incur expenses, they’re responsible for paying them.

More than Money

You might also decide that your children need to understand how to maintain a household—that is, everyone living there needs to be responsible for keeping it clean and keeping it maintained. Mowing the lawn, weeding the flower beds, painting the shutters, and cleaning the bathroom are par for the course when you own a home. So if the kids are living at home, they need to do their share of the work.

Why Do Adult Children Live at Home with Their Parents?

The main reason adult children live in their parents’ homes is financial. The cost of college, rent, utilities, food, gas, and more is cost-prohibitive for many young adults. Many simply can’t afford to live on their own.

How Do Parents Feel About Their Adult Children Living at Home?

Almost half (45%) of parents who responded to a Pew survey said living with their adult children has had a very positive impact on their relationship. 29% of parents said it’s had a somewhat positive impact on their relationship.

About half (55%) of parents said it’s had neither a positive nor negative impact on their financial situation.

How Do Young Adults Feel About Living at Home with Their Parents?

According to a Pew survey from January 2024, about half (55%) said that living at home with their parents has had a positive impact on their relationship with their parents. 64% said it’s had a positive impact on their own finances. Almost 3 in 4 (72%) said that they contribute financially to the household, from buying groceries to paying rent to contributing to their parents’ mortgage.

The Bottom Line

If your adult children are struggling financially, returning to your family home may make sense—for a while. Creating a game plan with them and setting household rules may go a long way towards maintaining harmony in the home. That can include paying their bills, helping with chores, and creating a timetable for when they will leave home.