What To Do If You Discover Mom or Dad Is Caught in a Romance Scam?

Romance scammers have perfected the art of preying on lonely hearts, particularly those of older Americans, with devastating financial consequences.

Targets engage scam artists for many reasons, Marti DeLiema, a professor who researches scams on older Americans at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities, told a Financial Industry Regulatory Authority roundtable. But they engage far more when there’s an “emotional arousal”—either making them happy or fearful—and when they have “unmet needs.” This makes romance scams particularly devious. “The ones that offer something positive—a connection, a romantic relationship” are among the most successful because they “really tap…into the target’s wanting a change of state. They want to be in that relationship.”

Below, we take you through the steps you can follow if you suspect your parents are the target of such a scam.

Key Takeaways

• A romance scam is a con that involves romantically wooing people online into sending money.
• Older people are often targeted because they generally have more money, are less familiar with online scams, and might feel more isolated.

What Is a Romance Scam?

A romance scam involves creating a fictitious profile on a dating or social media platform, reaching out to other users feigning romantic intentions, building up trust with whoever responds, and then asking them for money.

The scammer will say they can’t meet in person, often using working overseas as an excuse, and falsely claim they need money to pay for medical expenses, a ticket to visit their love interest, a visa, an unexpected legal fee, a once in a lifetime investment opportunity, or something else that makes it hard for the victim to say no.

They’ll also be clear about how to send the cash. Favored methods include wiring money through Western Union or MoneyGram, putting money on cards, and transferring cryptocurrency.

Think you’re wasting time watching true crime shows with romance fraudsters? Think again: A 2025 University of Manchester study found they actually drive significant increases in viewers avoiding them.

What To Do if Your Parents Fall Victim to a Romance Scam?

If your mom or dad are open about their love life, you may find out about the con before any financial damage is done. An obvious alarm bell should go off if they are being asked by a person they never met for money. If they’ve already done so, help them take the following steps.

Stop Communications and File a Report

Your parent should cease communications with the con artist and report the person to the platform where the contact occurred, the local police, the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center, and the Financial Trade Commission.

Seek Reimbursement

By the time you find out about the scam, it might be too late. If your parents sent the scammer money, try and help them recoup it. That means notifying your parent’s bank, the wire transfer company, the gift card issuer, or other relevant financial institutions that the transactions were fraudulent and enquiring what can be done to get the money back.

Protect Identity

If your mom or dad provided the scammer with personal information such as their Social Security number, their identity could also be at risk. The U.S. has set up identitytheft.gov for this purpose. File a report there, and consider placing a fraud alert or security freeze with the three national consumer credit bureaus.

Consult With an Attorney

If your parents lost significant amounts and were unable to get it back, it might be wise to speak to an attorney.

These frauds are sophisticated operations. “Romance scams often use shell companies so that it doesn’t look like money is going overseas,” Richard Graham, a director in Moody’s Compliance & Third-Party Risk Management team, said in a Moody’s publication.

The Bottom Line

Romance scams damage not only a person’s confidence and self-esteem but also potentially their finances. If your parents fall into this trap, it’s important to promptly report the fraud to the relevant parties. Lead with sympathy: Studies show that people of all ages and situations can fall victim to scams.